haha check this out.

Your result for The Harry Potter Husband Test...

Mrs. Harry Potter

( Under the cut )
Who knew..

School starts next week and I find myself relieved. I know it's alot to get prepared to, and appointments, and school material to buy as well as clothes. But next week, 3 of my kids starts school and the 4th one is starting educative (workshops?) for kids with Dysphasia. It's actually a good thing because it'll help her get prepared for school, help her talk a bit more and actually understand too.

If you have questions about Dysphasia, go on Wikipedia. It's seriously well explained.

It'll be a bit of vacation for me, actually. Three 'half-days' per week I'll be alone with my year and a half old baby (who will turn 2 in January) and the rest of the time Providence (who'll turn 5 in February) will be home too. Vacations.

I think I will actually have the time to clean my house properly and stay on top of my cleaning. Maybe I'll even have the time to pick up a hobby!

Find out your Harry Potter personality at LiquidGeneration!

TADA!!!

Enough said.

I'm a bitch today, I know. Deal with it, it's better than being whiny.

Today I recieved the best news of all.

You see, one of my twin was diagnosed with Autism, while his brother was diagnosed with PDD-NOS. You don't know what it is? Check out this site  http://www.childbrain.com/pdd.shtml . So Raphael was diagnosed with PDD but the thing is, his comunication skills were so affected that they didn't get it right. Over the past 2 years we've worked hard with him, he went to kindergarden 2 years and he's been seen by professionals. Now it is clear that he's not a PDD.. but rather Dysphasia  (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dysphasia) like his 2 sisters. It doesn't make hi totally 'normal' (whatever that word means).

Emmanuel is in a specialized class for PDD-autism. But Raphael has always been to strong to fit in there. But he can't fit in regular classes, he needs to be coached constantly which they can't provide. The solution? Language classes, stronger than TEACCH but better suited than regular classes. 

With his PDD diagnosis, he couldn't get in. You need a Dysphasia diagnosis for that. We've been working hard for the past year to make it change. I'm on the waiting list, but the right professionals helped us get a place for him anyway. His Dysphasia has been recognised as the dominant problem instead of PDD.

A small win for others, but a huge win for us. My son will finally get the right teachings for his first grade.

Have you ever lied to yourself? You know, the kind of lie that you want to believe in so bad that you don't want to see it impossible to realize?

For over 7 years I've been with my husband. We had 5 children and in the past 2 years we went through some very hard stuff as I have mentioned in my previous posts. For years my husband didn't see the point in having vacation together, but now he does. So he tells me we can start planning one. We tell ourselves, next year. We'll have enough time to save the money, find a babysitter and all.

So I start checking, we might actually be able to pull this out. But it happens that we can only leave suring summer time. My mother can't babysit. Friends already have kids, they don't need mine on top of that.

So my bubble bursts.

And I can't even talk to my husband because he's too busy working, when he should've finished a long time ago.

Desired vacation: 10 days in Florida with my husband. (Come on sand, ocean and sun.)

Problem: No babysitter and I don't want to change my plans for my personal reasons.

Solution: Changing destination (WTF am I gonna do anyway with no babysitter), or time (haha let me laugh. Kids have school), go alone... (Hubby will never allow that)


Alternative: There is none. I'm gonna fucking take 2 days vacays when I need a whole sabbatical year! I hate big cities, I need quiet. And I can't stay too close, like in Canada, there is nothing to see.

So my bubble of happiness and expectation is gone. Once I'll be done being disappointed I might be able to gather strength to go on with the next year, which I don't think will happen. The upcoming vacay was the only thing keeping me going right now.

I need some time off. Away. No lunches, no school, no screams, no diapers, no running all around me.. just me, the sun, and friends I wanted to meet in RL. That's all I wanted. Am I really asking too much? Maybe I am. Maybe I should just shut up, swallow and 'live' whatever that word means now...

On a lighter note, I've found these pictures taken recently. Okay, I've told my Trilogy friends over and over again how my cat sleeps just about anywhere. Now months later, I have the proof.

( Kitty cat come out and play! )

I got upset with Emmanuel's teacher today. For months I have known that this fucker is not doing his job and today I met him. Finally. I stayed calm, but I was firm. I was no happy with him. Yes, Emmanuel is Autistic. But he has potential. I know it, his last teacher know it and the specialised technician who works a lot with him knows that too.

That bastard was supposed to teach his first grade from January. Nothing's done. HE. FUCKING. DIDN'T. DO. A. DAMN. THING.

And now he had the guts to tell me he's going to 'start' the global reading. *breaths in and out slowly in an attempt to calm herself* He's done kindergarden already. He was ready for first grade damnit, and now he's fucking waiting until May when he's all tired of going to school.

I called out his bullshitting me. In front of the psy who was there to the meeting. Everyone in the school knows he's not doing anything, but to take him down they were at a stage where they needed parents involved.

I have no problem telling hypocrites off. People hates me for that.

Yeah, I'm often a bit paranoid, but I know I'm right.

So far, only good news are coming to my ears. I feel better, determined to keep going as I do every morning. Maybe one day life will be much easier, but for now I'm giving them everything I have.

Right now I'm exhausted, did loads of cleaning but it's worth it :D

I was doing better. I swear I was. I've been going out a bit more, started to walk again, started to read again, I've been able to smile again.

Once again everything went downhill. Can't really tell the details here but my friend is getting a divorce, summer break is coming (thos who know of my situation know why it's no fun), and to cover it all I have no idea where my son will go to school next year.

Too long to explain.

I'm fucking worried.

I've been crying for days.

I'm drained.

I've got nothing more to give to that fucking system now. They took away everything I had.